Shelley Stile-Divorce Recovery Life Coach& Author

Divorce: Don’t ask Why?

In life, I have come to accept the fact that there are questions of mine that will never be answered to my satisfaction if at all. I have come to accept the fact that some things in life are beyond my comprehension and I must trust or have faith that cer... Read >

Life After Divorce: Choosing a Happy New Year

The New Year is the proverbial time to make resolutions about our lives. This year may I suggest that you resolve to make an empowering choice for yourself? Choose to have a Happy New Year. As human beings, the ability to consciously choose is our mos... Read >

Newly Divorced and Surviving the Holidays

The Holidays are upon us once again and for many of you, this might be the first time around as a new unit, I.E. without your ex. It's a difficult time, no doubt about it, and just another step in the transition into a new life after divorce. If you pla... Read >

Divorce: Freedom is the Reward of Letting Go

The ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation o... Read >

Life After Divorce: Living with Change and Uncertainty

"If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic." Hazel Henderson (Economist, writer and syndic... Read >

How to Handle your Emotions During Divorce

Divorce brings out the lunatic within us. Rage, anger, depression, sadness, resentment and blame are just some of negative emotions running the show. Your emotional state is hard to pin down from one moment to the next. This is not the best state of mi... Read >

Divorce: So-Called Mistakes are Life Lessons

Your divorce is not a failure or a mistake. People miss an incredible opportunity to learn, grow and change for the better when they view their divorce through the lens of failure. A so-called failure is actually a lesson in how not to do something an... Read >

Divrce: You Can't Always Get what You Want

The Rolling Stones were actually very smart. They were dead-on when they sang that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need… that is if you are paying attention to what is being offered. When we wish, pray or hope for something, w... Read >

Divorce Recovery: Acceptance of What Was and What Is

The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorces discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on t... Read >

Divorce recovery: Beware Expectations!

In a nutshell, expectations are premeditated resentments and disappointments. They are self-sabotaging beliefs we hold that literally set us up to feel bad and keep us stuck in the pain of our divorce. They are in direct conflict with how the world actu... Read >

Divorce Recovery: Are Your Fears Holding you Back?

Divorce turns our lives upside down. It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go... Read >

Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery

Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make that will prevent you from moving forward into a new life. Victimhood renders you powerless. To create a new life after your divorce takes a person ... Read >

How to Forgive after Your Divorce

How To Forgive after Your Divorce? Forgiveness is a miraculous act that serves as a release valve that propels us forward into a new life after divorce. To forgive is to be truly free, to be unencumbered by the past. The problem or challenge with for... Read >

The Real Divorce: Cutting the Ties that Bind

Your divorce decree is only step one in moving into a new life after divorce. The real divorce is the cutting of the emotional, mental and physical ties that still bind you to your ex-husband. This is the real work of divorce recovery: becoming a si... Read >

Moving On After Your Divorce

There is no single more powerful stumbling block to moving beyond our divorce into a new life than the inability to accept our new reality. Acceptance is the hardest part of the divorce recovery process. Acceptance requires total honesty, courage and t... Read >